anger management

I really, REAALLY hate it when I'm angry..

everything is so ugly! everything is just not right. I begin to feel emotions I never want to feel and I start to say things I don't ever want to say. Whenever this comes up, I just have to be alone. Go away, everyone! You wouldn't want to mess with me at times like these. It's just so frustrating. Adrenaline seems to seep at me and I can't even control it at times.

There are certain things I have to do to appease this feeling:

1) I have to punch something, the harder the better.
2) I just have to be ALONE.
3) I've got to have pen and paper; and the last and the most embarassing condition of all is that
4) I have to cry it out.

Hehe. I can't help it! Everytime I'm angry, I start to cry and I hate it because I just want to be angry! When I cry, sure the anger fades but then it kind of shows just how weak I am because in the end, I can never be truly angry at a person even though I was the one hurt. In the end, I would have to say sorry because I feel that I must and in the end, I would be the one feeling guilty without me knowing why I even feel so. It's freaky, really. Being afraid of others not talking to me but that's just me. I can't change it but I guess I could, I just don't know how.

*sigh* All the anger has left me. Good bye.

Facing faked smiles have been what I am the worst at since long ago...

because that is not out of courtesy.

While they smile at me, its as if they are telling me...

to be aware of what I am...

Telling me that i am different from everyone else...

- so sad -

Disclaimer: i just found this written somewhere..
but i can relate to it pretty well..

it's nice to talk about LIFE with a friend...
it makes the whole moment more worthwhile.


in a way, it kind of feels like...



"this is life"...

in a state of not knowing what to feel

it's been a while

i have been reading other blogs and they seem to have some kind of goal in what to write in their blog...this kind of makes me think over what my reason for having a blog was...

-- t h i n k i n g --

hmn..to get my thoughts out?? or just something that came up because of peer pressure??
don't really get why i've got a blog. I don't even accumulate ideas that often that i'd have to write it down in here...hmn. Maybe i'll search for the meaning of my blog. Toodles.

- - blogsoul searching --
*small laugh*

VICTORY!
haha.. prelims are OFFICIALLY over! wiii

hai hai.. i can finally breathe normally again... yay! ><
so happy!

and now it's time to read manga's! haha..
the most beautiful thing man has made.. chuks.. anyways, see ya!

one test more to go! *fighting*

battered.. and exhausted...
waaa! got no more brains.. haha
exams are such hazardous inventions of man... whew, good thing i was able to come over it but wait! there's still an exam tomorrow but naah, it's no biggy, just Physical Education. It'll be a piece of cake (i hope)

anyways, thanks for praying for me, and now, i can finally say...

VICTORY! HAHA *evil laugh*
:p

ciao!

some tests down, some more to go

WHEW!

Victory is coming for me! hehe...
Well, prelims almost over but I'm still finding time to blog about it..talk about immense confidence. Haha. I was actually shocked because I thought that only few people would not be making their way into the school lab. Guess I was wrong..oh well.

:)) Please pray for me for the rest of the exams.
Thank you

ciao!

exams coming up!

Woah!

the very horrifying prelims are coming up tomorrow!
well, for me its horrifying but i don't know about the others..they seem so...so prepared. Waaa! What will become of me. I hope I can study enough to be able to answer the questions tomorrow. It's just the first test but its our major! Of all the tests, our major (Accountancy) will be #1 on the list. *sigh*

I can do this (i s'pose)
hehe
i should give it my all! wii!
~fighting!
:')