I really, REAALLY hate it when I'm angry..
everything is so ugly! everything is just not right. I begin to feel emotions I never want to feel and I start to say things I don't ever want to say. Whenever this comes up, I just have to be alone. Go away, everyone! You wouldn't want to mess with me at times like these. It's just so frustrating. Adrenaline seems to seep at me and I can't even control it at times.
There are certain things I have to do to appease this feeling:
1) I have to punch something, the harder the better.
2) I just have to be ALONE.
3) I've got to have pen and paper; and the last and the most embarassing condition of all is that
4) I have to cry it out.
Hehe. I can't help it! Everytime I'm angry, I start to cry and I hate it because I just want to be angry! When I cry, sure the anger fades but then it kind of shows just how weak I am because in the end, I can never be truly angry at a person even though I was the one hurt. In the end, I would have to say sorry because I feel that I must and in the end, I would be the one feeling guilty without me knowing why I even feel so. It's freaky, really. Being afraid of others not talking to me but that's just me. I can't change it but I guess I could, I just don't know how.
*sigh* All the anger has left me. Good bye.
